Frustration and Trust

Never give up; you never know until you try.

When the 4-month internship I was supposed to have had fell through, I had to pick myself back up, because I'd gotten knocked down--again, dust myself off, and resume an all-out job search.

As I've noted in previous posts the last year and few months, it's very frustrating looking for a job in this market. That information doesn't surprise anyone. What has surprised me is that job requirements and pay ranges make absolutely no sense at all. How can a zillion positions pay barely above minimum wage and require a college degree, yet a position I ran across today, doing more technical, complicated, skilled work, require only a high school diploma and pay in the 30's, with benefits?! As I said, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

What I did upon seeing the above-mentioned vacancy ad was completely warranted, I think: I literally threw back my head and groaned, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What do they want? Help me, Lord, get through this!"

One thing that helps me get through is rereading journal entries and meditating on times when God has gotten me through painful circumstances. I was rereading a journal entry from last fall and noted that one of the worship leaders in a service had said something I found very helpful: the answer to any question is "I AM." When life makes sense (although I've never found anything in life that really made sense), there is God. When life doesn't make sense, there is God. He is. He always was. He always will be.

I'll admit that my faith has been sorely tested pretty much my whole life, through literally major crisis to major crisis, and now I'm just having to trust God that He will help me deal with the frustration over dealing with nonsensical hiring requirements and pay ranges and help me get to the right place. I hope it's a place I'll want to be in, but if it's not, which is often the case in life, I'll have to remember those comforting words: "I AM."