Seminar on Change

Never give up; you never know until you try.

I recently attended a seminar on dealing with change. It’s been said that the only sure things are death and taxes, and I’ve written before that I’d add to that list God’s unfailing love and that dreaded thing called change. (You know I don't mean pennies, either!)

Since most of us don’t like change, to put it mildly, I expected the seminar to be packed. I was surprised that it wasn’t, but on further reflection, it makes sense. Many people hate and dread change so much that they don’t even want to think about it—not even if thinking about it may help them deal with it more effectively and less painfully.

Change is scary, even if the change is a positive one. I’ve often thought about how even though I may despise a certain circumstance, at least I’ve developed a way of dealing with it if it has continued for any length of time. Unfortunately, not every coping mechanism is a positive one, serving me well, making my life better. That’s when I need to change my focus or actions—even both; lots of times, changing focus results in changing actions.

And that was really the gist of the seminar: change is a necessary, inevitable part of life. Sometimes we have to change because old ways aren’t serving us, and sometimes change is thrust on us by others, so we need to learn to deal with it in positive ways. It was an encouraging refresher course for me, so I’ll share a few tidbits that we covered.

Recognize that change happens. Don’t fight it; accept it. Don’t just bury your head in the sand. Don't refuse to face it (or, really, avoid facing it) by drinking, taking drugs, working too hard, etcetera. Ingesting substances or immersing yourself in work may seem to work in the short-term, but it doesn’t in the long-term.

Don’t beat yourself up because you resist change. We’re all wired to resist change. (The presenter covered some psychological research that proves it.)

Knowledge is power. Knowing how your personality type responds to change (or anything else) can help you cope better. I encourage everyone to invest the time to take a respected personality test, such as Myers-Briggs, to get to know yourself better. That way you can have a go-to plan to handle change when it arises.

Make sure that go-to plan moves your life in a positive direction. If not, change it, with outside help if necessary. (Yes, I’m aware that I used that dreaded “C” word there!)

Recognize that others have their own ways of dealing with change, which may be radically different than yours. Allow them that right.

That’s my take-away from the seminar. The program was a couple hours long, and the Serenity Prayer came to my mind several times. I still think it’s a great, helpful prayer that basically says to be calm, accept what you can’t change, change what you can, and know the difference between the two. As the speaker pointed out, it’s not in human nature to be calm when faced with change, so it seems only logical to me that I need to ask God for help. He made me, so He can and will help me if I just humble myself and ask.