You Never Know Until You Try.
As I noted in my last entry, I’m future-oriented and seem to prefer arrivals at desired destinations to the journeys necessary to get there. I’m currently journeying through the land of “This isn’t what I got my degree for!” and singlehood as well as dissatisfaction with several major life areas. It’s a trip I’d rather not be on, but I’m trying to make the most of it.
Since I’m not working at the fabulous career I envisioned when I returned to school, or even when I graduated nearly a year ago, I’ve been trying to do something that feeds my soul, because job hunting can suck your soul right out of you and kill it with a horribly, excruciatingly slow death. Many may think my activity of choice is a soul killer instead of a soul feeder, but I’ve done some major de-cluttering around my house. I’m super-organized, so any time my house gets messy, it drives me insane. Everyone accumulates clutter, and the last few years I’ve had little free time to keep things organized. Now, between getting rid of some things and getting the rest organized, I’ve simplified my life a bit, and I literally feel lighter.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who would love to be able to snap my fingers and make everything fall into place just as I’d like it to be, but life isn’t that way. Besides, while there are many things that wouldn’t be “hurt” by doing an instantaneous “poof” there are other things that would. Sure, if I snapped my fingers and my scrapbook was completely caught up, I wouldn’t have the extra materials lying around taking up space, but I would miss out on the joy of putting the scrapbook together. If I could wiggle my nose and “poof,” be instantly transported to a time wherein I’m married to a wonderful man, I would miss the like-no-other feeling of falling in love. What a shame that would be! We all need to be prepared emotionally and physically to move to a new situation. Body builders don’t start out lifting 300-pound weights, and babies don’t run marathons. Cheese, as a humorous television commercial tells us, has to mature, and wine supposedly gets better with age. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
While I work toward creating the life I want, I’m trying to keep in mind how gratifying it is when a long-awaited event occurs. The “reward” is even sweeter if it’s hard-earned. We appreciate it more. We just need to remember to be grateful for the blessings along the way, of which there are many. As my therapist reminds me, it’s about the journey, not the destination—even if the journey is tiring.
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