Let Your Words Edify Others (Pt 1)

You Never Know Until You Try.

Praise God, I’m back! I haven’t posted because I’ve been fighting a battle with unemployment and its fallout. That’s bad enough, but there have been a few non-employment crises the last few months that have left me reeling. If I’d written before now, I may have subjected readers to more of what we’re all hearing from every corner, given the economy: anxiety, frustration, etcetera.

I’ve written stories and poetry since I learned how to write in school, and I’ve kept a journal since I was 13. I took half a dozen fiction and memoir writing classes in college, and I’ve had numerous people tell me that my writing has touched them. My heart’s desire is to use this ability God’s blessed me with to encourage and inspire others, so you can understand why I’ve been freaked out that I’ve felt unable to do more than rant. My journal entries haven’t been pretty, and since I want to encourage others, I didn’t want to write “doom and gloom” blog entries.

Then again, maybe it would’ve helped someone to read that I’ve been feeling freaked out—maybe some other middle-aged man or woman has felt adrift in a gale in a row boat and would’ve felt better reading me whine a little about my situation. As my friend “K” says, “Would you like a little cheese with that whine?” I don’t think it would’ve been helpful to anyone other than me, though; common sense has told me that I haven’t been the only one feeling like I’d have to jump like "The Shaq" to reach bottom. During this time, I’ve tried to read, listen to, and watch uplifting things, not things that illustrate how far down the tubes so many people are. I’m overjoyed when I learn some common working person has won the lottery or something. I think to myself, at least someone is getting somewhere. I don’t want to hear of someone’s misfortune—it brings me down. I know; we can respond by thinking how blessed we are compared to someone else, but it’s also way too easy to think, what if that happens to me, too? The way I see it, I’m better off minimizing my exposure to anything Satan might use against me.

During these months, my prayers have sometimes been like “Psalms, Part Two” as I, like David, have asked (am still asking), “How long, Lord?” I’ve felt about as impotent as an 80-year-old man before the invention of the “Little Blue Pill.” I’ve begged God to show me what I did that I shouldn’t have done; what I didn’t do that I should’ve done; what I said that I shouldn’t have said; what I didn’t say that I should’ve said. One friend asserted the other day that I haven’t done anything wrong; maybe, like Job, my particular situation is just one of those times of testing. Maybe that’s what’s going on with lots of people during this economic crisis. I’m glad my friends have encouraged me and stood in prayer for me when I couldn’t stand myself. (Yes, I mean that both ways it can be taken.)

Then, completely out of left field, 2 nights ago, I caught a celebrity profile show that struck a nerve. I watched some of it, and my response was a natural one—I immediately picked up paper and pen and wrote the first draft of what will be a series of blogs. No sweating blood; no “what am I going to write” feeling. It just flowed. I spent yesterday talking with those dear ones who have stood for, and with, me during this whole thing and related, tears of gratitude and relief running down my face, how something had finally “given.”

Nothing has changed financially, but I’ve got a measure of peace that I’ve literally begged God for. What took so long? One friend suggested it may be like the story in chapter 10 of The Book of Daniel where Michael came in as reinforcement in the war with the prince of the kingdom of Persia. In 1st Thessalonians Satan hindered Paul from visiting Thessalonica. The Bible is full of examples, besides the obvious one of the Israelites' 40 years in the wilderness, of breakthroughs that took a long time. Whatever the hindrance, I’m immensely glad it has been broken. I’m curious how many angels have been involved in this latest spiritual skirmish. I still wish my situation would change for the better, but I’ve got a feeling of peace, which I haven’t had in a long time. Thank You, Jesus!