A Tribute and a Challenge (Part 1)

Never give up; you never know until you try.

Death claimed my friend Bill last Monday. He was only 67, but he crammed a lot into those years. He lived and he loved, always remaining true to himself. He was stubborn, and he was fiercely loyal. He was enigmatic—extremely outspoken on some subjects while remaining intensely private and maddeningly silent about others.

Bill was very open about his disdain of hypocrisy, especially in people who profess to be Christians. Like many of us, he questioned why, if there is a loving God out there, why bad things happen. It seemed that he blamed God and that he thought that God should make people “behave.” I shared many times my belief that God loves us enough to allow us to make mistakes, just as any earthly parent loves us and wants what’s best for us but allows us to make mistakes so we can learn from them. I didn’t want Bill’s unanswered questions, or anger with God, or anything else, to keep him from calling out to God and accepting His love and forgiveness. He probably had questions remaining when he drew his last breath, but Bill got the most important question answered: God loved (will always love) him. He loved him enough to send His Son to die to redeem him. Accepting Jesus’ sacrificial death and gift of forgiveness made Bill right with God. (John 3:16)

Bill always worked hard to provide for his family; he seemed to be of the old-school, showing his love in practical ways rather than being physically or verbally demonstrative. He seemed uncomfortable with open displays of affection, but he would hug you back and pat you on the back in a gruff, embarrassed manner. It was that trait that made his rare open displays all the more special.

He told me on several occasions that I was the daughter he never had, and I often told him that he was like a dad to me. (I’ve only seen my biological father a few times, and my first experience with a stepdad was a hellish nightmare. Mother married my current one, a real gem, in 2001.) One holiday after Dad, Bill and I had eaten the meal my mother had lovingly prepared and we were all sitting in the den relaxing, I said to no one in particular, “I feel so blessed. It’s like I’ve got a mother and two dads in this room with me.” (May we all be so blessed.)

I’ll post part 2 this upcoming week, so look out for the “challenge” part!

Death

Never give up; you never know until you try.

Due to a death in my family, I haven't posted this week.  I'm still overwhelmed and numb at the same time, so I'm mulling over my thoughts and will post sometime between Friday 11/11 and Sunday 11/13.

More on Friendship: Iron Sharpens Iron

Never give up; you never know until you try.

If you’re like me, sometimes you encounter someone and wonder why in the world God has allowed him or her to come into your life. Those are often the “rub you the wrong way” people. I’ve heard them called “Sandpaper People”. Although it’s been said that God seems to place those people into our lives to challenge us and to help us grow into better people, we often see their presence as a monumental curse. When we encounter them, we think to ourselves, I can’t deal with her; she’s so different from me and so irritating. Please make her go away, Lord! Actually, it’s often their similarity to us that’s really the problem; we see our imperfections mirrored to us, and they ain’t pretty. (The “ain’t” there was intentional, by the way.)

Sometimes, though, we meet someone and feel blessed to know him or her. That’s the case with a new friend of mine. I already see a couple reasons why God has brought this dear lady into my life. We have noticed that we share several strengths as well as several areas the Lord is still perfecting in us. My sweet friend has praised me generously, saying that I have encouraged her. She has certainly encouraged me when I’ve needed it, and in sharing her areas of weakness with me, she has challenged me to confront those same weaknesses in my life. Trust me when I say that a couple of those areas need lots of perfecting.

Scripture says that as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen each other. (Proverbs 27:17) My new friend is helping to sharpen me.

Dr. Seuss

Never give up; you never know until you try.

I have always loved Dr. Seuss, so today, later in the week than my usual post (I've been sick) I give you a few quotes, which I found on goodreads.com

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”  (I often find that hard to do.)


“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” (Sometimes we don't trust a simple answer, figuring that such a hard question must have a hard answer.)

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”


―from his book Happy Birthday to You! (You can't be Johnny Depp or Kim K, but they can't be you, either.) 

The Frisbee

Never give up; you never know until you try.

There are corny jokes, and there are corny jokes.  I'm warning you: this is a bad one.

The Frisbee

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

I found this on a clean joke site recently and decided to pass it along to you.  I hope you don't need things to hit you before you "get" them; but as I've written before, I sometimes do. 

My wish for today is that we all have fewer Frisbees colliding with our heads (between the eyes, maybe) and more sailing smoothly into our waiting hands.

Analyzing, Reflecting, and Correcting: New and Improved!

Never give up; you never know until you try.

As my readers have probably realized, I’m analytical and self-reflective. Heck, I’m analytical and reflective about just about everything, like a child asking why the sky is blue. Admittedly, that can be crazy-making, but it can also be very useful, even life-saving in a way.

Life-saving may be a slight exaggeration, but a recent round of analysis and reflection yielded the unavoidable conclusion that I need to change my approach to a current (important) project. Correct my course, as it were. I’m just glad that I haven’t dug myself into a hole I can’t climb out of—or, to continue my nautical metaphor, I’m glad I haven’t run aground.

One of my colleagues always stresses to her clients the importance of taking the time to do the groundwork the right way so you can avoid some major problems later. I believe that’s true in business endeavors and personal ones, so I try to follow her advice.

Of course, you can’t plan for everything, but careful planning, including making necessary changes to the plan, can help you avoid some unpleasantries.

So, dear readers, I urge you to do what I’ve done: make a course correction if you need to. After all, we flock to the stores to buy the latest “new and improved” version of our favorite products. Why not call your course correction your “new and improved” approach?

Look Beneath the Bluster

Never give up; you never know until you try.

A dear friend is dealing with late-stage pancreatic cancer. Though he has been sick for several years, the cause of his complaints remained a mystery until recently. He is getting his affairs in order, hoping that he has time to do so. Like many of us, he put some important things off because he thought he had plenty of time to do them tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that . . .


“W” has always been stubborn and full of life. You might even describe him as full of a certain substance and vinegar. (You know the saying.) He has been like a father to me, so it’s hard to watch his façade of cool control slip. I knew all along that he was so much bluster covering a soft and deeply-wounded heart, and I have accepted and loved him for the gruff jokester that he has been.

Many times over the years, “W” has said completely outrageous things just to see how people would react. He could be off-putting if you took him seriously, and he was so good at spouting balderdash that you couldn’t tell whether he was serious or not. I learned to look beneath the bluster to the gentle man that he was—and is, and my life has been better for having known him. I hope and pray that I will have more time with him.

“W” hasn’t come to a place of realizing just how much God loves him; he hasn’t said so, at least. That’s my biggest concern, because I hate to think of someone enduring the tribulations “W” has and end up facing something as horrible as cancer without embracing God’s immeasurable love and acceptance.

My challenge today is for everyone to look beneath the balderdash, the gruff exterior, the bluster, to the flawed, hurting human hiding in the shadows. Love him. Love her. God does. Most importantly, share the truth of God’s love and mercy with him or her.